Life Needs Butter.

Recently, I have gone on a baking binge. I find myself craving new recipe ideas, new baking tools, cooking spray to make things a little easier, and a bigger fridge to store my creations.I realized today that Just like life, things don't turn out as good (and delicious) as we expect and anticipate them. Sometimes in life, we add "too much" of something, and "not enough" of another, and the ending result is disappointing.
Either, we can throw in the towel and say, "I am never attempting to make that ever again.." Or, we can challenge ourselves and say, "Alright recipe, this time you one...but next time I shall conquer you and it will be good."
Please don't call me Paula Dean when I say that as I was making my apple pie today, I realized that life needs butter. A little butter for when we see ourselves "stuck", a little butter to brush over the topping of life to keep us glossy and shiny.
A little butter to ensure that recipe of life runs nice and smooth. And then it hit me, as I was brushing the melted butter onto the crust,
JESUS is the "butter" in our recipe for life.
Just some food for thought(;

Lavender Fabric Softener.

I want to be in love... maybe not exactly now, but eventually. I want to fall desperately, and irrevocably in complete adoration with not just any man, but my best friend. I want to spend the rest of my life with a guy who  doesn't mind me doing his laundry with lavender scented fabric softener,  doesn't mind me curling his eyelashes just once, a guy who loves thee little notes I leave him on his truck for when I am thinking about him, a guy who doesn't mind coming second place to Edward (; , a guy who is willing to go above and beyond himself just to make me smile, a guy who grabs my hand whenever we're in public to ensure that I am his, a guy who doesn't mind watching Harry Potter with me when I feel the urge to, a guy who tells me where we are going when I can't make up my mind, a guy who will rush to the store for me if I am missing an ingredient for a recipe, a guy who will reassure me that my food tastes good, even if I know its a lie, and most importantly....a guy who is in L O V E with my Savior. Not just, "Yeah, I love God."...more like, "Yes, I am in desperate awe of my beautiful Savior, and my main desire is to live FOR Him." 




Jesus, allow my eyes to be open to who you have placed on Earth for me, and to let our relationship glorify you in every single way.

'Protective Momma', Ride a Camel, and Live?

It seems like all you hear people say is, "I just want to be happy." Well, I don't necessarily want to be happy, I want to be be content. I want to be content with everything in my life. I want to be content most importantly with myself, and who I am. I feel like most of the time, I have to walk around egg shells...like try and not be too crazy around conservative people, and not be too conservative around crazy people. I have this absolute craving for some kind of balance in my life.

People say, "Don't be afraid to be you..", but at times, I AM. I am utterly terrified at times that my flaws are too noticeable, too weird, too not acceptable. When I start to think things like this, I almost have to force myself to take a step back and realize I absolutely adore and love each and everyone one of my friends. My Beautiful friends, who accept me, for me. My friends who embrace my inner  'Protective Momma', ghettoness, high pitched laughter, weird thoughts of "would you rather", thunkins, loud talking, and sometimes emotional self.
At times though, you forget the ones that mean closest to you. We forget the importance they serve in your life, and how much they actually keep you rooted. To tell you the truth, I honestly do not know what I would be, or where I would be, without them...Thank you guys (you know who you are.)
Luckily, friends have been one of the few things that have been consistent in my life lately.It seems like things are slowly unraveling, and there is really not much I can do about it. Either that, or I tend to focus and stress on the negative aspects of things too much (which is true.) But hey, that's just me...but it is something that I have been working on lately. I completely envy people who remain positive about their life, no matter what. In a way, I feel selfish and ungrateful when I scowl and get emotional about the occurrences in the journey of my life. However, once again..it is something that I am slowly working on.
Off of this huge tangent, and back to contentment...I have had the urge to first, be completely OK with myself, love myself, and BE myself. Second, to start living my life more for Jesus...and doing things that I have always wanted to do. Things like, ride a camel, or make a huge sand castle, or bake a stranger a cake, or pay for someone's groceries, or have the satisfaction of making my own outfit..little things like that. It's time that I start to L I V E ....with no regrets, and let the wind of life flow through my hair. And let every moment I live 
compliment my inner me.... It's time to start living.

Jesus, please help me to L O V E me.

Band-Aids and Duct Tape.

Within the past few months, I feel like I have been losing myself. Usually, you hear a fifty year old woman whose kids recently moved out, left her alone with her five cats, and suffering from the 'Empty Nest Syndrome' utter those words...but no, they are coming from me. They are coming from an 18 year old, freshmen in college, who has just opened a new chapter in her new life. Shouldn't opening a new chapter in your life bring you nothing but happiness? I would have to beg to differ...I feel like I roam around a huge campus, not knowing  who any of these people are..and simultaneously, wondering who am I? Sure, I get that I am the daughter of a wonderful Maker, but at times...I feel so much less. I feel like I am slowly losing my mind, my strength, and who I am.
The phrase, "When it rains, it pours" is entirely too true. Family problems, traffic tickets, boy turmoil, and school difficulty..I have lost my motivation. It's almost as if you wish Life had Bandaids...even though a Bandaid doesn't heal your wounds, it at least covers it up..so you don't have to look at it and be reminded by how much it hurts. Disregard the Bandaids, I feel like duct tape is essential. In all honesty, I try and be as positive as I can, but being a "Positive Peter" can only go so far...
Jesus, my soul is in deep need of a wake up call, and some motivation.